The General Store

Gear for the Road.

Apparel, drinkware, field gear, and assorted things that seemed like a good idea at the time.

Built around the same mix of country instinct, suburban reality, dry humor, and questionable judgment that runs through the rest of Suburban Country Boy™.

Apparel Headwear Drinkware Field Gear
What's on the Shelf

Useful Stuff. Questionable Shirts.

This is not a lifestyle brand pretending to have answers.

It is a collection of things I wear, use, carry, drink out of, or found funny enough to put on a shirt.

Some of it is practical. Some of it is stupid. A surprising amount manages to be both.
Useful Ridiculous Somewhere Between

Suburban Country Boy Insulated Field Bottle | 22 oz.

$40.00
Built for workdays, back roads, road trips, and wherever else the day takes you. The Suburban Country Boy™ Insulated Field Bottle pairs our signature cowboy-skull mark with a rugged black powder-coat finish made for everyday carry.

Its stainless-steel construction and copper vacuum insulation help maintain your drink’s temperature while preventing condensation on the outside. The spill-proof design, wide opening, and lightweight build make it a practical companion for the truck, office, trail, or campsite.

Product details:

• Stainless steel with copper vacuum insulation
• 22 oz. (650 ml) capacity
• Dimensions: 10.60″ × 2.90″ (26.92 × 7.37 cm)
• Weight: 363 g
• Spill-proof design
• Wide opening
• Scratch- and fade-resistant exterior
• Black powder-coat finish
• BPA-free
• Blank product sourced from China

Each bottle is made to order and finished with the Suburban Country Boy™ mark—built for those who may live in the suburbs but never quite belonged to them.
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Suburban Country Boy Rocks Glass | 10.5 oz.

$17.00
Some days call for noise. Others call for a good pour and a little peace.

The Suburban Country Boy™ Rocks Glass features our signature cowboy-skull mark on a classic, straight-sided glass. With a solid feel and 10.5 oz. capacity, it is made for whiskey, bourbon, an Old Fashioned, or whatever earns its place at the end of the day.

Product details:

• Quality glass construction
• 10.5 oz. (311 ml) capacity
• Height: 3.4″ (8.64 cm)
• Diameter: 3.2″ (8.13 cm)
• Suburban Country Boy™ cowboy-skull design
• Blank product sourced from the United States
• Hand-wash only
• Not dishwasher or microwave safe
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Cowboy Skull Trucker Hat | Suburban Country Boy Cap

$19.50
The Suburban Country Boy™ Trucker Cap is built for everyday wear with a classic high-profile trucker design and durable construction. It carries the mark without excess — just a clean, structured cap made to hold its shape whether you're working, traveling, or out in the field.

With a breathable mesh back and adjustable snap closure, it’s designed for comfort, durability, and a fit that works for just about anyone.

Simple. Rugged. Built to wear.

• 47% cotton, 28% nylon, 25% polyester
• Structured, five-panel, high profile
• Flat bill
• Snapback closure
• Head circumference: 21⅝″–23⅝″ (53.3 cm–60 cm)
• Blank product sourced from Vietnam or Bangladesh
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Suburban Country Boy™ Classic Tee

$14.00 - $24.50

The Suburban Country Boy™ Classic Tee carries the mark at the center of the brand: the cowboy skeleton.


The skeleton isn’t a character. It represents what remains when the labels, status, reputation, politics, and performance are stripped away — the human underneath the mask.

Built as an everyday shirt, not a costume piece, it keeps the design simple, wearable, and durable.


Simple. Durable. Built to wear.


Details


• 100% cotton

• Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester

• Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester

• Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester

• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²)

• Open-end yarn

• Tubular fabric

• Taped neck and shoulders

• Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem

• Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico


Disclaimers


• Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.

• Dark color speckles throughout the fabric are expected for the color Natural.
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Not Drunk. Just Less Curated. Unisex Tee

$20.00 - $25.00
A little whiskey doesn’t always change the man. Sometimes it just convinces the carefully maintained public version of him to take the night off.

The Not Drunk. Just Less Curated. Tee features a deadpan cowboy skeleton enjoying a quiet pour beside the painfully respectable symbol of suburban civilization: the mailbox. It’s dry humor, controlled vice, and the truth beneath the façade—all in one shirt.

Product details:

• Classic unisex fit
• 100% cotton
• Sport Grey: 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Ash Grey: 99% cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors: 50% cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz./yd² (170–180 g/m²)
• Open-end yarn
• Tubular construction
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Double-stitched sleeves and bottom hem
• Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, the Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, or Mexico

Please note: The White color may appear slightly off-white. Natural-colored shirts may contain small dark flecks due to the fabric’s natural properties.
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0.29 Acres. Big Ranch Energy. Unisex Tee

$20.00 - $29.50
Technically, it’s a yard. Spiritually, it’s a ranch.

The 0.29 Acres. Big Ranch Energy. Tee features one magnificently overconfident alpaca presiding over a suburban spread barely large enough to require turning around. It’s for anyone whose acreage may be limited—but whose livestock ambitions remain wildly out of proportion.

Product details:

• Classic unisex fit
• 100% cotton
• Sport Grey: 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Ash Grey: 99% cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors: 50% cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz./yd² (170–180 g/m²)
• Open-end yarn
• Tubular construction
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Double-stitched sleeves and bottom hem
• Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, the Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, or Mexico

Please note: The White color may appear slightly off-white. Natural-colored shirts may contain small dark flecks due to the fabric’s natural properties.
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Better Judgment Unisex Tee

$20.00 - $29.50
Apparently, somebody has to make the responsible decision.

The **Better Judgment Tee** takes one of life’s less dignified moments and gives it a perfectly unreasonable defense:

Whiskey dick? No. He just has better judgment than I do.

Blunt, inappropriate, and just logical enough to be difficult to argue with. It’s for anyone mature enough to understand the joke—and immature enough to wear it in public.

Product details:

• Classic unisex fit
• 100% cotton
• Sport Grey: 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Ash Grey: 99% cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors: 50% cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz./yd² (170–180 g/m²)
• Open-end yarn
• Tubular construction
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Double-stitched sleeves and bottom hem
• Blank garment sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, the Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, or Mexico

Please note: The White color may appear slightly off-white. Natural-colored shirts may contain small dark flecks due to the fabric’s natural properties.
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I Don’t Smoke a Pipe to Look Wise | Classic Tee

$21.50 - $32.00
Some people smoke a pipe because it makes them look thoughtful. I apparently just use mine to buy a little more time.

The “I Don’t Smoke a Pipe to Look Wise” Classic Tee takes questionable wisdom, vintage pipe-smoking character, and the kind of honesty that probably shouldn't be printed this large—and puts all of it on a clean, structured everyday shirt.

The artwork carries an old-school western and tavern-sign feel, while the classic-cut tee gives it a little more structure than your average soft shirt. It holds its shape, keeps clean lines around the shoulders and sleeves, and works just as well by itself as it does layered under a flannel or jacket.

Basically, it looks respectable enough to give the joke a few extra seconds to land.

Shirt Details

100% cotton
Sport Grey: 90% cotton / 10% polyester
Ash Grey: 99% cotton / 1% polyester
Heather colors: 50% cotton / 50% polyester
Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz./yd² (170–180 g/m²)
Open-end yarn
Tubular fabric construction
Taped neck and shoulders
Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem
Blank garment sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, or Mexico

A Couple Things Worth Knowing

The White color may appear slightly off-white rather than bright white because of the fabric properties.

The Natural color may contain darker speckles throughout the fabric. Those are a normal characteristic of the material, not a printing defect.
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I Own a Tractor | Classic Tee

$21.50 - $32.00
Technically, I do own a tractor.

It just happens to have a mower deck.

The “I Own a Tractor” Classic Tee is for those of us living the Suburban Country Boy™ life—where the land may not stretch to the horizon, the livestock may be suspiciously absent, and the tractor is primarily responsible for keeping the neighbors from complaining about the grass.

The vintage western artwork gives the humble riding mower the full ranch-treatment it deserves, complete with an old-school farm aesthetic and the important clarification:

“Technically, it cuts grass.”

Printed on a structured unisex classic tee, this shirt holds its shape well and works just as easily on its own as it does layered under a flannel, work jacket, or whatever else makes 0.29 acres feel considerably larger.

Shirt Details

• 100% cotton
• Sport Grey: 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Ash Grey: 99% cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors: 50% cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170–180 g/m²)
• Open-end yarn
• Tubular fabric construction
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem
• Blank garment sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, or Mexico

A Couple Things Worth Knowing

Due to the fabric properties, the White color may appear slightly off-white rather than bright white.

The Natural color may contain darker speckles throughout the fabric. These are a normal characteristic of the material and are not a printing defect.

Suburban Country Boy™ Gear
For people with country ambitions, suburban property lines, and absolutely no intention of letting either one ruin the fantasy.
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Suburban Country Boy™ American Original | Distressed Dad Hat

$25.00
A little country. A little suburban. Very American.

The Suburban Country Boy™ American Original Distressed Dad Hat takes the brand’s rugged Americana identity and puts it where it belongs—right up front.

The front emblem combines vintage stars-and-stripes styling, western detail, and the Suburban Country Boy™ name into a worn-in hat that looks like it’s already spent a few Saturdays outside doing something that probably could have waited until Monday.

The low-profile, unstructured fit keeps it casual, while the distressed crown and brim give it that broken-in look without requiring you to actually wear it for fifteen years first.

Wear it working around the yard, driving somewhere you absolutely could have walked, sitting around a fire, heading into town, or just reminding everybody that country is as much attitude as acreage.

Hat Details

100% pre-shrunk cotton twill
Soft crown
6 sewn eyelets
6 stitched rows on the brim
6-panel unstructured construction
Low-profile fit
Seamed front panel without buckram
Adjustable hook-and-loop closure
Blank product sourced from China
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The Shirt With No Explanation | QR Code Classic Tee

$21.50 - $32.00
There is a giant QR code on the back.

That’s it.

No slogan. No instructions. No “scan me.” No explanation whatsoever.

The Shirt With No Explanation exists for one reason: eventually, somebody behind you is going to get curious enough to pull out their phone and make a questionable decision.

Where does it go?

That would ruin the fun.

The QR code leads to a permanent Suburban Country Boy™ destination that can change over time, which means the joke doesn’t have to stay the same forever. What you get today might not be what somebody gets six months from now.

All they have to do is scan it.

Shirt Details

• 100% cotton
• Sport Grey: 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Ash Grey: 99% cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors: 50% cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170–180 g/m²)
• Open-end yarn
• Tubular fabric construction
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem
• Blank garment sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, or Mexico

Important: The QR code is the entire joke. Please resist the urge to explain it to people.
Add to Cart
That's Probably Enough

You Probably Own Enough Stuff.

If something here earns a place in your truck, closet, cabinet, or questionable collection of T-shirts, have at it.

Otherwise, go read something.

No countdown timers. No manufactured scarcity. It’s a T-shirt. Read the Observations
Caleb Minson